"I don't know," Abby said, shaking her head, the only answer coming to mind being that she didn't deserve to change. The guilt for letting her sister swim out there, for swimming back without her, ebbs and flows but sometimes it's so much, too much, that she thinks it can't be anything but justice for being the one who got to live (though whether her life was lived was debatable.) "I just don't know whether I should. I mean, I... I told you, we did everything together. So."

Abby stared at her hands again, clenching the tissues in her fists. "Isn't our time up?" She asked, aware that they were making no real progress. Aware that, as always, she just continued to be a burden. Aware that she wasn't going to get any better – and it wasn't anything Alana had done, either. Maybe she just was that way. Maybe she didn't deserve to, or just plain couldn't, heal. She'd tried enough to know.